Jokes about Jobs

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory,

but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack,

but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried being a Tailor,

but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory,

but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to

my life, but just didn't have the thyme.

6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker,

but any way I sliced it.... couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a Musician,

but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor,

but didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory.

Tried hard but just didn't fit in.

10. I became a Professional Fisherman,

but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.

11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance

Company,

but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center,

but they said I wasn't fit for the job..

13. After many years of trying to find steady work,

I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was

no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks,

but had to quit because it was the same old grind.

15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT

AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

Starbucks Drinks & Desserts that I Like

 I did a review of the nutritional content for the items that I would order at Starbucks. I analyzed the sugar & caffeine primarily in order to determine whether the items are healthy choices or not. 

Also, for desserts I tried to find items that contained fiber in addition to the sugar. This is the only way that sugar should be consumed, that is joining it with fiber. I heard this news from a DVD that I purchased called "Hungry for Change."

So, for my top picks of the items mentioned below I choose:

Coffee Drinks:

Cappuccino at 75mg of caffeine

Espresso Macchiato at 75mg of caffeine

Decaf Pike Place® Roast at 20mg of caffeine

Tea Drinks:

Any except for the lattes, they are too high in sugar.

Desserts:

Blueberry Oat Bar-because it has sugar + fiber. Never eat sugar without fiber. 

Starbucks Drinks and Desserts

Cappuccino-Espresso with steamed milk, topped with a deep layer of foam. 

Nutrition Facts Per Serving (12 fl oz)

Calories 60            Calories from Fat 0

Total Fat                               0g            0%

Saturated Fat                       0g            0%

Trans Fat                               0g           

Cholesterol                            <5mg      2%

Sodium                                  70mg      3%

Total Carbohydrate            9g            3%

Dietary Fiber                         0g            0%

Sugars                                    8g           

Protein                                   6g           

Vitamin A             6%          Vitamin C             0%          Calcium 20%        Iron        0%

Caffeine 75mg

Caffè Misto-Brewed coffee and steamed milk.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving (12 fl oz)

Calories 80            Calories from Fat 30

Total Fat                               3g            5%

Saturated Fat                       1.5g        8%

Trans Fat                               0g           

Cholesterol                            15mg      5%

Sodium                                  80mg      3%

Total Carbohydrate            8g            3%

Dietary Fiber                         0g            0%

Sugars                                    8g           

Protein                                   5g           

Vitamin A             6%          Vitamin C             0%          Calcium 20%        Iron0%

Caffeine 115mg

Espresso-Made with our own Espresso Roast.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving (1 fl oz)

Calories 5              Calories from Fat 0

Total Fat                               0g            0%

Saturated Fat                       0g            0%

Trans Fat                               0g           

Cholesterol                            0mg        0%

Sodium 0mg                         0%

Total Carbohydrate            <1g         0%

Dietary Fiber                         0g            0%

Sugars                                    0g           

Protein                   0g           

Vitamin A             0%          Vitamin C             0%          Calcium 0%          Iron        0%

Caffeine 75mg                                                     GOOD

Espresso Macchiato-Espresso topped with steamed milk foam.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving (8 fl oz)

Calories 10            Calories from Fat 0

Total Fat                               0g            0%

Saturated Fat                       0g            0%

Trans Fat                               0g            Cholesterol                            0mg        0%

Sodium                  0mg        0%

Total Carbohydrate            <1g         0%

Dietary Fiber                         0g            0%

Sugars                                    0g           

Protein                   0g           

Vitamin A             0%          Vitamin C             0%          Calcium 0%          Iron        0%

Caffeine 75mg                                                     GOOD

Caffè Americano-Rich, full-bodied espresso with hot water in true European style.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving (12 fl oz)

Calories 10            Calories from Fat 0

Total Fat                               0g            0%

Saturated Fat                       0g            0%

Trans Fat                               0g           

Cholesterol                            0mg        0%

Sodium                  10mg      0%

Total Carbohydrate            2g            1%

Dietary Fiber                         0g            0%

Sugars                                    0g           

Protein                   <1g        

Vitamin A             0%          Vitamin C             0%          Calcium 2%          Iron        0%

Caffeine 150mg

Pike Place® Roast-A smooth, balanced brew from a specialty roast of blended coffees.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving (12 fl oz)

Calories 5              Calories from Fat 0

Total Fat                               0g            0%

Saturated Fat                       0g            0%

Trans Fat                               0g           

Cholesterol                            0mg        0%

Sodium                  10mg      0%

Total Carbohydrate            0g            0%

Dietary Fiber                         0g            0%

Sugars                                    0g           

Protein                   0g           

Vitamin A             0%          Vitamin C             0%          Calcium 0%          Iron        0%

Caffeine 260mg                                                  NOT GOOD

Decaf Pike Place® Roast-A smooth, balanced brew from a specialty blend of decaffeinated coffees.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving (12 fl oz)

Calories 5              Calories from Fat 0

Total Fat                               0g            0%

Saturated Fat                       0g            0%

Trans Fat                               0g           

Cholesterol                            0mg        0%

Sodium                  10mg      0%

Total Carbohydrate            0g            0%

Dietary Fiber                         0g            0%

Sugars                                    0g           

Protein 0g             

Vitamin A             0%          Vitamin C             0%          Calcium 0%          Iron        0%

Caffeine 20mg

Tazo® Refresh™ Brewed Tea-A bracing blend of mint with a pinch of tarragon.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving (12 fl oz)

Calories 0              Calories from Fat 0

Total Fat                               0g            0%

Saturated Fat                       0g            0%

Trans Fat                               0g           

Cholesterol                            0mg        0%

Sodium                  0mg        0%

Total Carbohydrate            0g            0%

Dietary Fiber                         0g            0%

Sugars                                    0g                            GOOD

Protein                   0g           

Vitamin A             0%          Vitamin C             0%          Calcium 0%          Iron        0%

Caffeine 0mg

Tazo® Calm™ Brewed Tea-A comforting blend of chamomile, rose petals and soothing herbs.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving (12 fl oz)

Calories 0              Calories from Fat 0

Total Fat                               0g            0%

Saturated Fat                       0g            0%

Trans Fat                               0g           

Cholesterol                            0mg        0%

Sodium                  0mg        0%

Total Carbohydrate            0g            0%

Dietary Fiber                         0g            0%

Sugars                                    0g                            GOOD

Protein                   0g           

Vitamin A             0%          Vitamin C             0%          Calcium 0%          Iron        0%

Caffeine 0mg

Tazo® Full Leaf Chai Tea-A satisfyingly rich blend of black teas and exotic spices.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving (12 fl oz)

Calories 0              Calories from Fat 0

Total Fat                               0g            0%

Saturated Fat                       0g            0%

Trans Fat                               0g           

Cholesterol                            0mg        0%

Sodium                  0mg        0%

Total Carbohydrate            0g            0%

Dietary Fiber                         0g            0%

Sugars                                    0g                            GOOD

Protein                   0g           

Vitamin A             0%          Vitamin C             0%          Calcium 0%          Iron        0%

Caffeine 80mg

Tazo® Earl Grey Brewed Tea-A traditional black tea scented with the essence of Bergamot.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving (12 fl oz)

Calories 0              Calories from Fat 0

Total Fat                               0g            0%

Saturated Fat                       0g            0%

Trans Fat                               0g           

Cholesterol                            0mg        0%

Sodium                  0mg        0%

Total Carbohydrate            0g            0%

Dietary Fiber                         0g            0%

Sugars                                    0g                            GOOD

Protein                   0g           

Vitamin A             0%          Vitamin C             0%          Calcium 0%          Iron        0%

Caffeine 75–115mg

Tazo® Chai Tea Latte-Spiced black tea blended with steamed milk.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving (12 fl oz)

Calories 190         Calories from Fat 30

Total Fat                               3.5g        5%

Saturated Fat                       1.5g        8%

Trans Fat                               0g           

Cholesterol                            15mg      5%

Sodium                  90mg      4%

Total Carbohydrate            34g         12%

Dietary Fiber                         0g            0%

Sugars                                    32g                         NOT GOOD

Protein                   6g           

Vitamin A             6%          Vitamin C             0%          Calcium 20%        Iron        2%

Caffeine 70mg

Tazo® Black Shaken Iced Tea Lemonade-Fine black teas mixed with refreshing lemonade and lightly sweetened.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving (12 fl oz)

Calories 100         Calories from Fat 0

Total Fat                               0g            0%

Saturated Fat                       0g            0%

Trans Fat                               0g           

Cholesterol                            0mg        0%

Sodium                  0mg        0%

Total Carbohydrate            25g         9%

Dietary Fiber                         0g            0%

Sugars                                    25g                         NOT GOOD

Protein                   0g           

Vitamin A             0%          Vitamin C             0%          Calcium 0%          Iron        0%

Tazo® Awake™ Brewed Tea-A black breakfast tea of boldness, depth and character, invigorating any time of day.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving (12 fl oz)

Calories 0              Calories from Fat 0

Total Fat                               0g            0%

Saturated Fat                       0g            0%

Trans Fat                               0g           

Cholesterol                            0mg        0%

Sodium                  0mg        0%

Total Carbohydrate            0g            0%

Dietary Fiber 0g   0%

Sugars                                    0g                            GOOD

Protein                   0g           

Vitamin A             0%          Vitamin C             0%          Calcium 0%          Iron        0%

Caffeine 90–135mg

Tazo® Green Tea Latte-Sweetened matcha green tea with steamed milk.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving (12 fl oz)

Calories 260         Calories from Fat 50

Total Fat                               6g            9%

Saturated Fat                       3g            15%

Trans Fat                               0g           

Cholesterol                            25mg      8%

Sodium                  140mg   6%

Total Carbohydrate            41g         14%

Dietary Fiber                         <1g         4%

Sugars                                    40g                         NOT GOOD

Protein                   10g        

Vitamin A             10%        Vitamin C             10%        Calcium 35%        Iron        2%

Caffeine 55mg

Tazo® Vanilla Rooibos Tea Latte-An infusion of rooibos, steamed milk, syrup, vanilla and cinnamon, topped with velvety foam.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving (12 fl oz)

Calories 140         Calories from Fat 30

Total Fat                               3g            5%

Saturated Fat                       1.5g        8%

Trans Fat                               0g           

Cholesterol                            15mg      5%

Sodium                  75mg      3%

Total Carbohydrate            23g         8%

Dietary Fiber                         0g            0%

Sugars                                    23g                         NOT GOOD

Protein                   5g           

Vitamin A             6%          Vitamin C             0%          Calcium 20%        Iron        0%

Caffeine 0mg

Birthday Cake Mini Doughnut-A vanilla doughnut topped with pink vanilla icing and white sprinkles.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving (33 g)

Calories 130         Calories from Fat 50

Total Fat                               6g            9%

Saturated Fat                       2.5g        12%

Trans Fat 0g        

Cholesterol                            10mg      3%

Sodium                  140mg   6%

Total Carbohydrate            17g         6%

Dietary Fiber                         0g            0%          NOT GOOD

Sugars                                    10g        

Protein                   <1g        

Vitamin A             0%          Vitamin C             0%          Calcium 0%          Iron        6%

Blueberry Oat Bar-An oat-crust layered blueberry treat topped with buttery streusel.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving (87 g)

Calories 370         Calories from Fat 130

Total Fat                               14g         22%

Saturated Fat                       7g            35%

Trans Fat                               0g           

Cholesterol                            30mg      10%

Sodium                  150mg   7%

Total Carbohydrate            47g         16%

Dietary Fiber                         5g            20%        GOOD

Sugars                                    19g                                        

Protein                   6g           

Vitamin A             4%          Vitamin C             15%        Calcium 6%          Iron        10%

Petite Vanilla Bean Scone-A moist, bite-sized scone flavored with natural vanilla extract and real vanilla beans.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving (33 g)

Calories 140         Calories from Fat 45

Total Fat                               5g            8%

Saturated Fat                       2.5g        12%

Trans Fat                               0g           

Cholesterol                            15mg      5%

Sodium                  90mg      4%

Total Carbohydrate            21g         7%

Dietary Fiber                         0g            0%          NOT GOOD

Sugars                                    10g        

Protein                   0g           

Vitamin A             2%          Vitamin C             0%          Calcium 2%          Iron        4%

Birthday Cake Pop-Vanilla cake and icing, dipped in a pink chocolaty coating with white sprinkles.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving (43 g)

Calories 170         Calories from Fat 80

Total Fat                               9g            14%

Saturated Fat                       5g            25%

Trans Fat                               0g           

Cholesterol                            10mg      3%

Sodium                  85mg      4%

Total Carbohydrate            22g         8%

Dietary Fiber                         0g            0%          NOT GOOD

Sugars                                    18g        

Protein                   <1g        

Vitamin A             0%          Vitamin C             0%          Calcium 4%          Iron        2%

Salted Caramel Sweet Square-Salted caramel and chocolate filling with a layer of crisp pretzels and pecans on top of a butter shortbread crust.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving (40 g)

Calories 190         Calories from Fat 100

Total Fat                               11g         17%

Saturated Fat                       6g            30%

Trans Fat                               0g           

Cholesterol                            20mg      7%

Sodium                  150mg   7%

Total Carbohydrate            24g         8%

Dietary Fiber                         <1g         4%         

Sugars                                    15g                         NOT GOOD

Protein                   2g           

Vitamin A             4%          Vitamin C             0%          Calcium 2%          Iron        4%

The Zero Waste Home: Highlights of my week

The Zero Waste Home: Highlights of my week: Hiking at Muir Beach I owe you, faithful readers, an apology for not being very active on the blog recently. I'll give you an explanati...

Lauren Conrad Jeans Review

I purchased a black pair of Lauren Conrad jeans from the Kohl's website on September 29, 2011. I have worn these jeans many, many times since I've purchased them. Here is the link that shows the jeans still currently for sale. 


The fabric seems to have stretched out and lost it's shape over time. Also, the color of garment has faded significantly. I did purchase this in a regular size with a short inseam of 32" However, I am 5'2" and needed to hem them as my inseam is 27". 


Here is a picture of the jeans that I purchased. 

Note: I hemmed the jean's to ankle length. 

Final Comments: 

• Will not purchase LC Lauren Conrad jeans in the future
• These jeans lasted about 5 months for me. Other jeans that I purchased have lasted much longer than this. I find that it's better to spend more on quality items. 
• Sometimes, getting something on sale is not always the best long term option. I must weigh my options more carefully. 
• I am happy to announce that these jeans will longer be in my wardrobe and will donated to Salvation Army.